why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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