can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
