She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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