I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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