toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Michael Bay diarrhea
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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