It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
