For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
