The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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