You really coming over, don't trick.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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