I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
