You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
