My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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