Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
