So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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