PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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