Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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