I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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