Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
