My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
where are my pants?
in the oven.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
