she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
