On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it's like heaven, but drunker
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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