She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
