May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize