matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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