Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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