it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
