its not stalking. its research.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
