You smell like a Billy Joel song
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
