You're my little dorito
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
