Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
