I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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