I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
