is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
