I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so let's talk penis.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
