My friends, they love my intelligence
id be glad to
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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