it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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