I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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