I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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