ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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