Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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