my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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