My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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