I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
