What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
