you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is it penis luge time yet?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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