I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
