Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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