those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
