your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
