Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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