Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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