And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize