is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
