no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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