batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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