she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Even my vagina gasped.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
