Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
