I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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