All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No stitches, just platelets and will power
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just high enough for therapy.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
